So, as I predicted there have been ridiculous amounts of people tripping out watching Alice in Wonderland in 3D. At this point I'm pretty sure stoners are the target demographic for a 3D Tim Burton movie. Also, according to an unnamed source the movie starts somewhere in the middle of the original books, but they made a new story where Alice returns to Wonderland as some kind of prophesied champion like it was some bad Narnia rip off. I might still watch it, seeing as it's free, but I'm expecting less than I did last week.
Besides watching all the baked kids come in and laughing as people pay extra for the 3D movie just to sneak into Green Zone, some kind of Matt Damon/Bourne thriller that I cannot even begin to explain after watching the trailer, I found amusement by talking to a few of my sober customers. Some girl I hadn't seen was complaining that the theater across the street owned by the same company as ours closes a few hours earlier than mine and she therefore had to pay for her movie and couldn't get passes. I simply said, "blame Marla" (who runs the other theater) and the girl laughed and agreed.
About an hour later, a 17 year old girl came in without an ID to Shutter Island, so she had to wait for her older sister to buy her ticket for her. She stayed and talked to me asking how bored I was standing doing nothing at box office, and made me jealous that as a hotel receptionist she can bring her laptop to work and go on the internet without everything being blocked. She told me about a little drama she had going on, and so I told her some of mine. She agreed that Marla coming in whenever she wanted, hanging out with my boss (aka her bff) for no reason when I was working, and then continually trying to get back with me meant my drama was supreme. She told me I would find somebody better, and although that wouldn't be difficult I told her I already had.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Dreaming In Supernatural
So a few nights ago I had a very interersting, but also awesome dream. It was a mix of Supernatural, Legion, and also oddly enough pokemon. If you haven't seen Supernatural, but can also sit through horror movies I would highly recommend you check it out.
Commence Dream Sequence:
I'm driving down an abandoned superhighway in a black mustang. It seems to me that this must be some kind of post-apocalyptic wasteland and I see some figure out of the corner of my eye. I pull over, holding a shotgun loaded with rock salt and notice some kind of creature chowing down on the remains of some poor, helpless sap. As I pumped my double barrel in preperation to deal with what laid before me, I saw the creature's head twitch. From behind I hadn't been able to see what I had been dealing with, but as it turned it I clearly saw the face of my now undead ex-girlfriend with chunks of flesh and oozing bone marrow flowing between her teeth.
As soon as she saw me she charged with the intensity of a crackhead racing for a candy bar. As my ex had now become a full demon, body, mind, and soul (instead of the regular old bitch she used to be), I filled her up with rock salt once in the chest and then aimed high for the second. Apparently my dilligent hours spent watching Supernatural had not done the trick as I had only mildly slowed her down, but mostly just pissed her off. I broke off running in the other direction with the demonic bitch not far behind me. I instinctively wipped out my iPod and browsed my options and finally selected HM02: Fly. A bit painfully I might add, wings sprouted from my back with the same intensity as in Dogma and I took off just barely escaping the clutches of Marla: Demon Bitch.
After a few minutes of flying I spotted a Guns & Ammo shop and landed about 100 yards away (still needing time to hide the wings I had just sprouted.) I banged on the boarded up doors and windows and just as I looked back inside I had a rifle pointed at my head. "Drop your weapons or I'll shoot" muttered the hillbilly shopkeeper with bad hygiene. I hastily replied, "Look, I'm not the one you're going to need to worry about in a few minutes. I just need some shells and I'll be on my way." I saw him let his guard down and quickly took the rifle from his shaking arthritis ridden hands. "Motherfucker" he muttered. I set his rifle down on the counter and began to load up my shotgun with the shells I badly needed, when I felt the entire room shake. The door flew off it's hinges with the shopkeeper now pancaked to the back wall and Marla now standing in the doorway, ready for round 2.
Just as I had loaded the shells, the gun was knocked from my hands and flown across the room. I blocked the first few blows with the rifle I had borrowed with every intention of returning, but was no match for her unyielding attacks. I was almost subject to me heart being ripped from my body, literally this time, when a barrage of bullets dropped Marla like nobody's business. Sam stood in the doorway as Dean used the handy double tap philosopshy and pulled the trigger with his shotgun aimed at Marla's head. "What the hell was that?" asked Sam. "Demon." I quickly replied. "Son of a Bitch!" Dean exasperated.
The End
p.s. although a few minor details of this dream may have been glorified just a touch. This is, more or less, what I remember.
Commence Dream Sequence:
I'm driving down an abandoned superhighway in a black mustang. It seems to me that this must be some kind of post-apocalyptic wasteland and I see some figure out of the corner of my eye. I pull over, holding a shotgun loaded with rock salt and notice some kind of creature chowing down on the remains of some poor, helpless sap. As I pumped my double barrel in preperation to deal with what laid before me, I saw the creature's head twitch. From behind I hadn't been able to see what I had been dealing with, but as it turned it I clearly saw the face of my now undead ex-girlfriend with chunks of flesh and oozing bone marrow flowing between her teeth.
As soon as she saw me she charged with the intensity of a crackhead racing for a candy bar. As my ex had now become a full demon, body, mind, and soul (instead of the regular old bitch she used to be), I filled her up with rock salt once in the chest and then aimed high for the second. Apparently my dilligent hours spent watching Supernatural had not done the trick as I had only mildly slowed her down, but mostly just pissed her off. I broke off running in the other direction with the demonic bitch not far behind me. I instinctively wipped out my iPod and browsed my options and finally selected HM02: Fly. A bit painfully I might add, wings sprouted from my back with the same intensity as in Dogma and I took off just barely escaping the clutches of Marla: Demon Bitch.
After a few minutes of flying I spotted a Guns & Ammo shop and landed about 100 yards away (still needing time to hide the wings I had just sprouted.) I banged on the boarded up doors and windows and just as I looked back inside I had a rifle pointed at my head. "Drop your weapons or I'll shoot" muttered the hillbilly shopkeeper with bad hygiene. I hastily replied, "Look, I'm not the one you're going to need to worry about in a few minutes. I just need some shells and I'll be on my way." I saw him let his guard down and quickly took the rifle from his shaking arthritis ridden hands. "Motherfucker" he muttered. I set his rifle down on the counter and began to load up my shotgun with the shells I badly needed, when I felt the entire room shake. The door flew off it's hinges with the shopkeeper now pancaked to the back wall and Marla now standing in the doorway, ready for round 2.
Just as I had loaded the shells, the gun was knocked from my hands and flown across the room. I blocked the first few blows with the rifle I had borrowed with every intention of returning, but was no match for her unyielding attacks. I was almost subject to me heart being ripped from my body, literally this time, when a barrage of bullets dropped Marla like nobody's business. Sam stood in the doorway as Dean used the handy double tap philosopshy and pulled the trigger with his shotgun aimed at Marla's head. "What the hell was that?" asked Sam. "Demon." I quickly replied. "Son of a Bitch!" Dean exasperated.
The End
p.s. although a few minor details of this dream may have been glorified just a touch. This is, more or less, what I remember.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Hierarchy
Over the time I've been working at the movie theater, there have been quite a few girls who have admitted having crushes on me. Although I usually hear this information second hand bc let's face it, unless you see it actually going anywhere why would you tell someone you have a crush on them anyway?
So, one day me and Brooke were bored and she wanted to know why Marla would get jealous all the time. So, we compiled a list of all the girls that definitely had expressed feelings and also had to set a few under review. Although I never really did anything to warrant the constant jealousy, and never cheated on her, on pure numbers alone I could see a little better where she was coming from (just a touch of course).
Later on, this list was transformed by my current gf into a hierarchy ranking levels of affection of all the girls. Hopefully none of them will ever read this, but Katie (GF!!!) will be left off for now for the integrity of the old list. So here goes (I'll put them in list order and then the evidence to justify their ranking).
Actual Affection / Craziness
1. Marla: Claimed to be in love, relationship for 3 years, tried several times to get back with me after broken up, threatened girls with a machete (not really).
2. Sam M: Would call me over several month intervals asking when I would break up with Marla so I could start dating her.
3. Pam: Had someone drop her at my house and got in my bed to try to seduce me. Needless to say, it didn't work.
4. Roxas: Told basically every guy I worked with that I was hot and loved my body. However, she hated Marla in High School so that may have been a contributing factor.
Your Average Everyday Crushes
5. Samm: Apparently looked at me like she wanted to throw me down all day every day. Also, had to explain to someone why she was staring at my ass.
6. Alex: Told Katie on more than one occasion she liked me. When asked she answered, "Well yeah, It's Twammer. How can I not?" (Or something like that)
7. Karolina: Started a "joke" rumor that me and her had sex, I was huge, and I cut her in half. Also, her friend told me she talked about me all the time.
8. Christine: On her last day left me a note in my suit jacket saying, "call me when you're available." I was dating Marla at the time, and nobody else's note said that...
Just Interested in My Body / Compulsive Flirt
9. Melissa R: Recorded saying if things don't work with her bf, I was still there. No thanks, not gonna be anybody's safety school.
10. Katie G: Most likely drunk when sent me a barrage of texts saying she saw me cute little name and needed to talk to me
11. Sam G: Flirty with EVERYONE, but aways fixed my tie and "needed to prove" she gave quality hugs by pressing with force when I gave her crap once about a weak one.
12. Betsy: Asked me to go to Turn-about. That's about it.
Now, as I stated earlier, in the telling of this list other girls have been proposed to be on the list as well. However, there is not enough evidence in my opinion to place these girls on the hierarchy. If at some point in time, the truth is revealed changes will be made, but for now they will remain under review.
Under Review
1. Brooke: After two days of knowing me, told me she would (and I quote) "do anything in bed" for five minutes longer on her break. [Accusers - Stephanie, Alyssa]
2. Alyssa: Whenever she was upset at her bf she called me until I had given enough advice and was sick of being her go-to-girl. [Accusers - Brooke]
3. Janice: We talked a lot, but never really went anywhere. Went on a kind of group hang that didn't go very well. [Katie, Alyssa]
4. Jenn: Tried to get me to hang with her a lot, including once when she was drunk and according to Marla, tried to lure me over to her. [Katie, Marla]
5. Ashton: Absolutely no possible evidence whatsoever. Jessica foolishly has claimed she should be on the list since it's inception, but hogwash I say. [Jessica]
Well, thanks to Jessica my perfect symmetry (provode?) has been thrown off, but oh well. If anybody has been reading these posts they must have realized by now that Katie and my friends are the shining spots in my life right now, but I see this blog as mostly a place to vent so writing about how awesome they are would be counterproductive. However, since the original hierarchy has gone missing it's nice to unwind and immortalize this one.
"Well, so much for sex without consequences." - Michael Scott (The Office)
So, one day me and Brooke were bored and she wanted to know why Marla would get jealous all the time. So, we compiled a list of all the girls that definitely had expressed feelings and also had to set a few under review. Although I never really did anything to warrant the constant jealousy, and never cheated on her, on pure numbers alone I could see a little better where she was coming from (just a touch of course).
Later on, this list was transformed by my current gf into a hierarchy ranking levels of affection of all the girls. Hopefully none of them will ever read this, but Katie (GF!!!) will be left off for now for the integrity of the old list. So here goes (I'll put them in list order and then the evidence to justify their ranking).
Actual Affection / Craziness
1. Marla: Claimed to be in love, relationship for 3 years, tried several times to get back with me after broken up, threatened girls with a machete (not really).
2. Sam M: Would call me over several month intervals asking when I would break up with Marla so I could start dating her.
3. Pam: Had someone drop her at my house and got in my bed to try to seduce me. Needless to say, it didn't work.
4. Roxas: Told basically every guy I worked with that I was hot and loved my body. However, she hated Marla in High School so that may have been a contributing factor.
Your Average Everyday Crushes
5. Samm: Apparently looked at me like she wanted to throw me down all day every day. Also, had to explain to someone why she was staring at my ass.
6. Alex: Told Katie on more than one occasion she liked me. When asked she answered, "Well yeah, It's Twammer. How can I not?" (Or something like that)
7. Karolina: Started a "joke" rumor that me and her had sex, I was huge, and I cut her in half. Also, her friend told me she talked about me all the time.
8. Christine: On her last day left me a note in my suit jacket saying, "call me when you're available." I was dating Marla at the time, and nobody else's note said that...
Just Interested in My Body / Compulsive Flirt
9. Melissa R: Recorded saying if things don't work with her bf, I was still there. No thanks, not gonna be anybody's safety school.
10. Katie G: Most likely drunk when sent me a barrage of texts saying she saw me cute little name and needed to talk to me
11. Sam G: Flirty with EVERYONE, but aways fixed my tie and "needed to prove" she gave quality hugs by pressing with force when I gave her crap once about a weak one.
12. Betsy: Asked me to go to Turn-about. That's about it.
Now, as I stated earlier, in the telling of this list other girls have been proposed to be on the list as well. However, there is not enough evidence in my opinion to place these girls on the hierarchy. If at some point in time, the truth is revealed changes will be made, but for now they will remain under review.
Under Review
1. Brooke: After two days of knowing me, told me she would (and I quote) "do anything in bed" for five minutes longer on her break. [Accusers - Stephanie, Alyssa]
2. Alyssa: Whenever she was upset at her bf she called me until I had given enough advice and was sick of being her go-to-girl. [Accusers - Brooke]
3. Janice: We talked a lot, but never really went anywhere. Went on a kind of group hang that didn't go very well. [Katie, Alyssa]
4. Jenn: Tried to get me to hang with her a lot, including once when she was drunk and according to Marla, tried to lure me over to her. [Katie, Marla]
5. Ashton: Absolutely no possible evidence whatsoever. Jessica foolishly has claimed she should be on the list since it's inception, but hogwash I say. [Jessica]
Well, thanks to Jessica my perfect symmetry (provode?) has been thrown off, but oh well. If anybody has been reading these posts they must have realized by now that Katie and my friends are the shining spots in my life right now, but I see this blog as mostly a place to vent so writing about how awesome they are would be counterproductive. However, since the original hierarchy has gone missing it's nice to unwind and immortalize this one.
"Well, so much for sex without consequences." - Michael Scott (The Office)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Time to stop caring
I'll keep this brief. Apparently the girl I dated for 3 years and broke up with a year ago "cheated on me". Just hearing about this info a few hours ago, I realized I really don't care anymore. Who gives a shit if she made out with some guy while we were dating or banged some jock during a month while we were on a break (which to me really doesn't count as cheating, she would just be more of a bitch for not telling me herself). There's no way to know if this is actually true because even if I asked her I wouldn't get a straight answer, if I got an answer at all, and I doubt the girl who told me has any actual proof.
Now, maybe most people would be mad, and maybe I even should be. But at this point, I'm happy with someone else and this is just be one more reason I shouldn't have let that shit with "Marla" last as long as I did. Everyone tells me I'm too normal, and this kind of thing does happen to people every day, but is it normal to just let it go? I hope so because that's what I plan on doing.
-Twammer out
"If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla."
- Edward Norton (Fight Club)
Now, maybe most people would be mad, and maybe I even should be. But at this point, I'm happy with someone else and this is just be one more reason I shouldn't have let that shit with "Marla" last as long as I did. Everyone tells me I'm too normal, and this kind of thing does happen to people every day, but is it normal to just let it go? I hope so because that's what I plan on doing.
-Twammer out
"If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla."
- Edward Norton (Fight Club)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Battle For Evermore
To start off, I always liked how That 70's show had all of their episodes named after Led Zeppelin songs, so there really shouldn't be anything taken from the name. Just sayin'.
So, I had to work at the theater across the street for 2012 for the midnight and the Friday and Saturday after that. I'm aware I'm a bit tardy with this, but I'll get to my New Moon experiences later. Btw, I was never very good a foreshadowing.
Anyway, my ex who runs the theater across the street was apparently beginning to have kidney failure the night of the 2012 midnight. So, me being the whore I am for hours/money, and I'll admit feeling a little bad for my ex decided I would help them out. Everything went pretty smoothly Thursday and Friday night until this pansy motherfucker named Jessie had to go and ruin it all.
So, Marla (my ex who I will partially protect for confidentiality sake) bought everybody pizza Saturday for pulling through and not cracking under the pressure. Jessie drove to go pick up the pizza, and just like usual at my job, everyone sat around talking during downtime instead of sending people on break like we should be doing. By the time, I had done all I could at that time there was one breadstick and one piece of pizza left.
Now, me and Jessie had been joking around and verbally messing around all weekend and I acknowledge him and we talk whenever I watch a movie. So, Jessie offered me the last breadstick and after I ate it, he had told me it had dropped on the ground. If this hadn't happened to me I probably would have laughed pretty hard, but in my opinion that qualifies as a dick move. I usually don't take things very seriously, but instead of swearing at him or making a scene I simply just walked over and lightly slapped him in the face.
Apparently, I had insulted his honor or something because he started freaking out, saying I hit him, but trust me he would know if I hit him and we wouldn't have gotten off that easily if I actually wanted to hurt him. He stormed out of the office and Marla followed him with me a minute or two behind. Obviously I wasn't trying to offend him or anything, but if you can't stand the fire, get out of the kitchen.He was so pissed off that Marla wouldn't even let me apologize so I just got sent home instead.
Like a couple hours later, Marla starts texting me asking to meet me at this hill we used to go to when we were dating so we could talk about "stuff". Somebody reminded me people have been fired for less, so once I agree and leave my house she bails and says she doesn't want to meet up anymore.
Now, let me be clear. I FUCKING HATE MIND GAMES!!! I didn't like them back then and she has no reason to make me jump through hoops now. I'm pretty sure she still wants my cock, but that's not happening so she's just gonna have to deal with her shit on her own.
The next day back at work I had to explain to my boss what happened, who is bff's with my ex btw. I got a final warning for fighting at work, so I'm pretty sure I'll have racked up the most write-ups for a manager in company history by the time I'm done. I guess we'll just have to tune in to see what happens next...
So, I had to work at the theater across the street for 2012 for the midnight and the Friday and Saturday after that. I'm aware I'm a bit tardy with this, but I'll get to my New Moon experiences later. Btw, I was never very good a foreshadowing.
Anyway, my ex who runs the theater across the street was apparently beginning to have kidney failure the night of the 2012 midnight. So, me being the whore I am for hours/money, and I'll admit feeling a little bad for my ex decided I would help them out. Everything went pretty smoothly Thursday and Friday night until this pansy motherfucker named Jessie had to go and ruin it all.
So, Marla (my ex who I will partially protect for confidentiality sake) bought everybody pizza Saturday for pulling through and not cracking under the pressure. Jessie drove to go pick up the pizza, and just like usual at my job, everyone sat around talking during downtime instead of sending people on break like we should be doing. By the time, I had done all I could at that time there was one breadstick and one piece of pizza left.
Now, me and Jessie had been joking around and verbally messing around all weekend and I acknowledge him and we talk whenever I watch a movie. So, Jessie offered me the last breadstick and after I ate it, he had told me it had dropped on the ground. If this hadn't happened to me I probably would have laughed pretty hard, but in my opinion that qualifies as a dick move. I usually don't take things very seriously, but instead of swearing at him or making a scene I simply just walked over and lightly slapped him in the face.
Apparently, I had insulted his honor or something because he started freaking out, saying I hit him, but trust me he would know if I hit him and we wouldn't have gotten off that easily if I actually wanted to hurt him. He stormed out of the office and Marla followed him with me a minute or two behind. Obviously I wasn't trying to offend him or anything, but if you can't stand the fire, get out of the kitchen.He was so pissed off that Marla wouldn't even let me apologize so I just got sent home instead.
Like a couple hours later, Marla starts texting me asking to meet me at this hill we used to go to when we were dating so we could talk about "stuff". Somebody reminded me people have been fired for less, so once I agree and leave my house she bails and says she doesn't want to meet up anymore.
Now, let me be clear. I FUCKING HATE MIND GAMES!!! I didn't like them back then and she has no reason to make me jump through hoops now. I'm pretty sure she still wants my cock, but that's not happening so she's just gonna have to deal with her shit on her own.
The next day back at work I had to explain to my boss what happened, who is bff's with my ex btw. I got a final warning for fighting at work, so I'm pretty sure I'll have racked up the most write-ups for a manager in company history by the time I'm done. I guess we'll just have to tune in to see what happens next...
Monday, November 2, 2009
Puke in Paranormal
So, halfway through a showing of Paranormal Activity a customer came out and said someone threw up in the theater while the movie was going. Although it is the job of the ushers to clean up any spill, the girl cleaning theaters said she would (and I quote) "just add more to it". Not wanting a repeat of the scene in Replacements where everyone stood in a circle throwing up, me and this other kid went into the theater with a flashlight with two boxes of the bio-hazard cleaning crap used to clean those really bad spills.
When we got in there, we saw there was literally puke covering like 5 seats and taking up an entire row. Maybe five minutes later and having to scoop up all the new solidified chunks, I came to the same conclusion I've had for the past few years (I NEED A NEW JOB!!!)
This reminds of me of watching Drag Me to Hell where some kid threw up just outside the doors of the theater and me and my friends had to hear everything. This along with some little kid screaming "Oh, no! Not the cat oh no!" The little black kid helping the stereotype of black people being obnoxious in movie theaters in Drag Me to Hell (Also you should try watching Stomp the Yard in a theater with at least 90% black people). Unfortunately, I think I'll take people being loud and ridiculous over people puking any day.
When we got in there, we saw there was literally puke covering like 5 seats and taking up an entire row. Maybe five minutes later and having to scoop up all the new solidified chunks, I came to the same conclusion I've had for the past few years (I NEED A NEW JOB!!!)
This reminds of me of watching Drag Me to Hell where some kid threw up just outside the doors of the theater and me and my friends had to hear everything. This along with some little kid screaming "Oh, no! Not the cat oh no!" The little black kid helping the stereotype of black people being obnoxious in movie theaters in Drag Me to Hell (Also you should try watching Stomp the Yard in a theater with at least 90% black people). Unfortunately, I think I'll take people being loud and ridiculous over people puking any day.
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